About Us

Thursday, July 11, 2019

My Choice

As we have been preparing for Alea's 8th birthday & her plans to be baptized, I'm reminded once again how very grateful I am to be here to teach, love & enjoy these moments with her & all of my children & Tanner.
On Wednesday, July 20th, 2011 I went in for a routine OB appointment following an ultrasound I'd just had the previous week.  Since it was summer break, I didn't have my entourage of kiddos with me, which was extremely nice! Anyways, Dr. Cooperman told me that the baby was looking great, heartbeat, blood pressure, urine sample, etc. & that the ultrasound was showing significant weight gain for her & he would see in me the next week.  I asked him about the specifics of the ultrasound because the tech actually pulled in his supervisor to look at the ultrasound while measuring me.  I explained to Dr. Cooperman that the Dr. came in & actually told me that Cooperman was wrong in my due date & CHANGED my due date to match the size of the baby.
Quick back information-I wasn't even a day late when Dr. Cooperman informed me that I was pregnant, so he knew without a doubt when my due date was.
After mentioning this to Dr. Cooperman, he couldn't actually believe that another Dr. would do that, so he pulled up the paperwork from my ultrasound results. There it was THE DATE WAS CHANGED. He looked angry. I was a bit anxious as to what that look meant for me....he told me to go ahead & get dressed but please not leave until he came back to speak to me. He left & closed the door behind him.  I could hear him (Dr. Cooperman isn't a loud person. He's rather soft spoken) ask his receptionist to get the ultrasound Dr. on the phone & tell him it was urgent.  I will admit I moved closer to the door & opened it a crack to hear better.  Well, to put it mildly, I'm not sure that the ultrasound Dr. would be employed much longer.....pretty sure he shrank at least 8 inches in height after the telling off he received from Dr. Cooperman.  Dr. Cooperman explained extremely clearly that by changing the due date he put me & my baby at risk & that if he had bothered to check my file he would have noted that I have an irregular shaped uterus that had a tendency with previous pregnancies to stop growing & puts the baby & me at risk.  After that phone call, Dr. Cooperman had his receptionist call & put me on the call list for the next available bed at Banner Desert.  This baby was coming tonight.  3+ weeks early.  After he came in & told me to go home & pack my bag & I probably should bring Tanner with me.  Whether the hospital called or not I was to check myself into the hospital no later than 6pm.
I had a busy afternoon of calling Tanner at work-2 hours away, arranging somebody to keep my 5 kiddos overnight, letting family know what was going on -the very short condensed version- & make sure I had everything ready to bring home the newest addition to our family.
We checked in, hooked me up, started the induction process & started the process of waiting.  I'm not sure what exactly Dr. Cooperman said or did, but we ended up in a pretty good sized room.  It got late, so the nurses pulled in a cot for Tanner. Not just the pull out couch ;-) we definitely were upgraded!

Everything went smoothly & according to process.  Miss Alea Jane Potterf was born July 21st weighing in at 5 lbs. 3.6 oz. & 18 inches long. I don't recall off hand what time, but it was close to lunch, they wouldn't let me eat anything ;-) After cleaning her up & taking all her vitals they returned her to me.  I vaguely recall passing her off to Tanner, mumbling that I didn't feel right.
After that I wasn't really there, but I was.  The nurse came to check on Miss Alea Jane & while there they wanted to check how I was doing.  They pulled back the sheets & called for Cooperman STAT, not in a minute, but RIGHT NOW. He came running in as my parents were coming in with the rest of the kiddos.  Tanner asked for a minute to give me a Priesthood Blessing-a religious prayer with his hands on my head.  Cooperman said only 30 seconds. I don't remember the blessing, the words said, but I remember the feeling & the comfort I received.
Dr. said they didn't have time to get me into surgery & sent Tanner out with someone on his heels asking for permission to "do whatever is necessary." Permission was given & I was literally ripped open.  My uterus ruptured & I was seriously bleeding out.  I remember counting 26 pokes before directing them to use the vein in my neck.  For the first year or so I could tell you the names of the people that were in the room with me. (At a follow up appointment with Dr. Cooperman I asked about the others by name & he told me "You were gone. You shouldn't have been able to hear let alone remember any of that") I wasn't in my body. It was like I was hovering in the far corner of the room listening in.  Then, I felt someone next to me.  He reached for me & said it was time to go.  I had done all that I needed to & I could go home to be with Him & Heavenly Father.  I turned back toward the sounds of the room & asked "What about Tanner? What about my children?" I was answered with "Tanner will be okay.  Somebody will be with him to help with your children.  They will grow & have somebody else to guide them & answer their questions.  Someone will love them & be there for their needs." I remember saying "I don't want that. I want to answer their questions, & be there for them. I want to be the one to get them ready for dating & getting married.  I don't want somebody else taking care of or loving Tanner." "Are you sure? You don't have to stay.  You can come home."  "I want to be the one taking care of my family."  "It won't be easy. You have already done all you need to."

I woke up then to Tanner stroking my face, talking so softly to me.  A few minutes later Dr. Cooperman came in to check on me & let Tanner & I know how everything went & what to expect.  They let me stay in recovery the rest of the night to re-coop.  The next morning, I was moved to Postnatal where Dr. Cooperman was chastised by the all the nursing staff about keeping me so long & making it harder for me to move after having abdominal surgery. He told them he was the doctor & there were extenuating circumstances, it was his choice & I was up for the challenge of working hard-I was a fighter-he had just seen it.


It wasn't easy to get up & move around after that surgery, as he explained it to me later, it was an emergency cesarean, with a lot more stretching & moving things around to fix my uterus. I had lost way too much blood to make any more incisions & removing it would have finished me off. Isn't that just a pleasant thought??  After getting in my mandatory laps & Alea getting lots & lots of extra attention, we were finally released 2 days later.
Tanner's bosses were pretty crappy & demanded he return to work Monday. So my father-in-law came to sit & snuggle Miss Alea while I slept.
And slept. And slept.  My parents, after letting the kiddos all see I was doing okay, took them back to St. David for a few days to let me get settled in.  Well, after lots of sleeping & having to wake Miss Alea up every 2-3 hours to feed her (she was too little to wake herself up-she just wanted to sleep & grow & sleep, but the only way her pediatrician would release her is if I promised on my life that I would wake her & feed her every 2-3 hours. I had to set alarm clocks.) During the day, I was rather out of it, but by the time Tanner returned home I felt awful. He took my temperature & called the Dr. I had a slight fever & needed to get to the ER ASAP.  So. That was fun. Sitting in the ER after 6pm with everybody coughing, sneezing, oozing, etc. with an underweight newborn was AMAZING!
Tanner called his parents & they came & met Tanner to keep Miss Alea for us till we found out what was going on.  They had me drink some nasty thick sugary stuff then they scanned me.  Then they stuck me in a room for a few more hours.  FINALLY Tuesday morning, I called Dr. Cooperman's office to see if they knew what was going on because nobody at the hospital would talk to us.  They did.  I had a small blood clot outside of my ovaries that he wanted to keep an eye on.  I was then moved not to Postnatal, but to Prenatal for Dr. Cooperman to be able to keep a better eye on me.  The nurses chastised Dr. Cooperman for bringing in a not pregnant woman to their ward, until they saw Miss Alea in tow.  Taking turns oohing & aahhing over the now 4 lbs 13 oz baby seemed to appease them nicely.  Amazing work & wonders Dr. Cooperman did was fantastic to watch.  They kept me there for several days more. Unfortunately, Tanner's work wouldn't give him any more time off-the brats-to stay at the hospital with me.  AND since Alea had already been discharged, I wasn't able to have her in the room with me without another adult there.  I became a bit uncomfortable, as any new mom gets.  So, the Prenatal nurses had to go round up Postnatal supplies & equipment for me to use & were also instructed to keep me walking laps, in addition to having my legs & feet set up to get "massaged" to keep the clot moving & I was taught how to give myself blood thinning shots.  I was ready to get out of the hospital.  Kiddos were all starting a new school year at a new school & I was supposed to be school shopping with them. None of that happened, though.

 This was the only time that Tanner didn't try to get me out of the hospital early. He told me to be comfortable & just let my body heal & everything else will work out.  All in all I was in the hospital for just over a week to be induced, deliver a sweet baby, have surgery & have a blood clot get resolved.  Dr. Cooperman released me on Monday morning, Tanner purchased a sweet new camera to celebrate & I went & shuffled with 2 handsome men & 1 tiny baby touring my kiddos new school & meet their teachers.  Kiddos were all happy to see me OUT of the hospital, let their teachers see their tiny baby sister & meet their Mama. Everybody was amazing.  I made arrangements with the front office to not have to sign my kiddos into school the first week I was home from the hospital & running late because I couldn't hardly move & technically wasn't supposed to be driving.

Life since choosing to stay & be here with my family hasn't been smooth, teenage girls, boyfriends, dating, dances, puberty, anxiety attacks, fighting depression, HNPP diagnosis, anxiety medication detoxification, moving, sending kiddos off to college, starting new jobs, being unemployed, & many, MANY tiny & not tiny happy moments, vacations, hugs, kisses, bike rides, swinging, play houses, trampolines, weight-losses, swimming pools, cheer-leading, winterguard, crossfit, chickens, death of family members, weight-gains, friends, games, cooking, AFROTC, anniversaries, birthdays, & so much more that has happened in the last 8 years & i haven't once, even for a moment, regretted my choice to STAY. I have never wavered in my desire to be with MY family.  I love my family.  I love sharing my experiences & mostly, most importantly, I love my Heavenly Father & Jesus Christ for listening & hearing & answering my plea to stay.  I know they are with me in all that I do & guide & direct me to do my best. Do I always listen & pay attention? I know there is always room for improvement. But I do my very best.








1 comment:

Mindy said...

Thank you for sharing your amazing and faith-building story, Val! Love you and so glad you are with us here on earth. <3